#Fierce conversations principles plus

“If you don’t know the kind of person I amĪnd I don’t know the kind of person you areĪ pattern that others made may prevail in the worldĪnd following the wrong god home we may miss our star.” In a recent TED talk that Susan Scott gave called The Case For Radical Transparency, she shares this verse from a poem called “ A Ritual To Read To Each Other“, by William Stafford: An organization culture of “terminal niceness” or one that effectively confronts and transforms negative behaviors?.Being overwhelmed by complexity or being able to resolve issues collaboratively and quickly?.“Us versus them” or high levels of engagement?.Focusing on activities or focusing on results?.The positive benefits of being able to have fierce conversations in our organizations are substantial. Take a look at these examples and decide in which environment you would prefer to lead and work. What is the most important decision we’re facing? What is keeping us from making it?.What topic are you hoping I won’t bring up?.How have we behaved in ways guaranteed to produce the results with which we are unhappy?.What is the most important thing we should be talking about today?.What are we personally pretending not to know? What is our organization pretending not to know?.Try these questions next time you want to have a fierce conversation: How do you even start fierce conversations?

Take responsibility for your emotional wake.

Come out from behind yourself into the conversation and make it real.

Master the courage to interrogate reality.

Here are Susan Scott’s 7 Principles of Fierce Conversations that when practiced will help prevent these pitfalls.

Ever fail to look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself the truth?.

Ever fail to call out behavior that lacked integrity or worse, violated policy, practice or the law?.

Ever not resolve an issue directly with a colleague, boss or friend but then complain about it behind their back?.

Ever pretend to agree with your boss or colleagues, then act in complete defiance of what you said?.

Ever pretend to agree with your boss when in fact you think his/her idea or strategy is flawed?.

Ever not speak up in a meeting when you disagree with what is being said?.

In truth, we are probably all guilty of compromising our integrity at one time or another to differing degrees. We prefer to not think of it this way, but are you guilty of any of these? Not all examples of breaching integrity are like those we are witnessing in daily headlines. In either situation, the result? Integrity shattered. Failed leaders have been unable to have fierce conversations with themselves and, you have to wonder, who wasn’t willing to have the fierce conversations with them and call them on their behavior. Lying is not right, and it never will be. The battle is lost with the first white lie.Īs this cycle spirals out of control, what is most disheartening is the ability of people to convince themselves that what they are doing is right.

#Fierce conversations principles plus

First there is one little white lie, then a lie of omission soon to be followed by a lie plus an act of commission. The book starts with a quote from Ernest Hemingway’s, The Sun Also Rises where one of the characters is asked:Īs you watch the indictments and sentencing of so many world leaders do you wonder how they lost their way so quickly and completely? For most, it was probably gradually, then suddenly. I would go so far as to suggest that these words describe some of the core competencies of life, in addition to leadership. As defined on the book’s cover “fierce” means “robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager and unbridled.”

The lack of it is what should scare the living daylights out of you. Sheila Madden, CEO, Madden Coaching & ConsultingĪs I watch the staggering inability of the world’s leaders to communicate with integrity and to engage people in solving the problems we face, I am reminded of one of the best leadership books I have ever read: Fierce Conversations, by Susan Scott.ĭoes the word “Fierce” scare you? It shouldn’t.